Tuesday, December 13, 2011, 10:35PM Pink Floyd on “The Wall”
Well, I’m such a “lunatic in the hall,” that I had to pull a double today, two meetings, two support group meetings in one day, wow, that’s a lot of shit to stir. Yesterday I went to one and half. I only made it to thirty minutes of the first one, hence my desire for another. I’ve become as addicted to the meetings as my mother is to benzodiazepines’. We sit in a circle like kids at camp signing, “Someone’s praying my lord, co oum bah yah,” however, in our prayer circle no one is signing, mostly we’re crying, or laughing hysterically at- to an outsider, silly histrionics- ourselves.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011, So What, Who Cares? I’m so Rich!
I wasn’t jonesingso much for a meeting today; a trip to Target seemed to fill my emotional needs. The kids came home from their dad’s today, yeah-until they started fighting, and then I thought, “Wow, just think, you were so sad and lonely for them on Monday night.” I’m still glad they’re here though- bickering endlessly, or not- they add purpose and richness to my life.
Thursday, December 15, 2011 hi there, I’m Kermit the frog:
I’m still okay without a meeting today. I started working on my second paid writing assignment. I’m writing a speech on the topic of “Communications,” for a motivational speaker. This should be a harmonious bounce in the back of a van- my gritty-wit entangled with a positive pleaser-what a perfect union. I keep imagining my squirrel like qualities, my insecurities, and frenetic pace being delivered by a larger than life man, it reminds me of a half man and half puppet on stilts. Obviously, I’m the puppet, or is he, and I’m the voice behind the curtain?