Look, I’ll admit it, I’m not as brilliant as you all, and luckily, I’m not here to teach you how to build anything. (Are you kidding me? That would be frightening.) However, what I can do is provide some guidance on how you can practice using your intelligence in areas you may be neglecting. I’m fortunate, I don’t have to be as smart as you to do my job, but I am able to make a living by being an excellent communicator. But before we go into what some you may perceive as eye-glossing, mind numbing nonsense, I’ve got something for you.
I know for some of you this communications stuff is as ridiculous to you, as the idea of understanding the engineering of an airplane. Some of your palms may be sweating already at just the thought of communicating with others. However, I urge you all to remain calm, replace your tray tables, and grab your life-saving- floatation devices. You’re trapped with me for the next 25 minutes, like food-poisoned passengers- on board with Captain Striker- from the 1980’s movie, “Airplane.” This may not be your idea of a fun landing, but it’s still going down. (3-4 minutes)
Anthony Robbins, American Advisor to Leaders said,
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and we must use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
Think about that for a minute. He’s basically saying that to communicate effectively, we must first become the other person.
The definition of communicates states the following: to give to another.
That means communication is more about giving than receiving.
The origin of the word is Latin. It means to impart, or make common. It comes from the root, “Commune.”
The Antonym is to withhold, or conceal.
When we’re asking, receiving, understanding and empathetic we’re communicating. We must reveal ourselves honestly, and give according to what we know about others, in order to effectively communicate with them.
(Easy enough, right? Everyone got that covered?)
What I’m saying is we’re the solution to most of the problems we find in our communications. This is true for both home and work. Humans, in relation to each other, and events have three points of reference: yours, the truth and mine. Of course we all think our experiences in situations represent the absolute truth, and they do on some level. What our vantage point does is convey our feelings, (Yes, I said feelings again, but don’t panic, oxygen is being pumped through the vents.)
Personal frame of reference isn’t right or wrong because they’re not facts. And that’s the problem with communication; we’re all coming from our individual perspectives, which include, our experiences, and our limitations. In order to do move closer to the objective truth, (You all probably like this term, and relate to it better, right?) The Objective truth comes from us. It requires us to stand on the opposite side of the conversation. It starts with us by changing how we interact with others. It’s both futile and unjust to assume someone else is supposed to expand to fill the problem-mold.
You all are probably too smart for this stuff, and I’m able to recognize this because I’m being objective. However, I’m asking you to be objective too by dumbing yourself down to my level. So, when you’re here, at my capacity, try to grasp something you may have found elementary before?
If you’re feeling sick with contempt from my right-brained matter: strap in, I’ve got a bag for you. I’m going to break this down like rows of seats on a plane. By now you may be feeling the turbulence, and other proverbial sayings hitting the fan.)
Oh wait, now I’m just on autopilot speaking from the top of my pile of diatribe. I don’t do any of this, but I sure know how to write about it.